Congress Declares Pizza a Vegetable.

ALRIGHT, YOU GUYS. I GIVE UP.

On Tuesday, Congress passed a bill declaring that one slice of pizza is equal to one serving of vegetables.

In response to a proposal from the Obama administration attempting to make school lunches healthier, Congress declared that the tomato paste on a pizza is healthy enough and will be considered a proper serving of vegetables for school lunches:

'Tuesday, by act of Congress, pizza was declared a vegetable. The Spending Bill before our elected officials contained an Agriculture Department provision recognizing that school kids are dangerously obese, and that subsidizing school lunches of frozen pizza and french fries is unwise and unhealthy. The Congressional response: a slice of pizza = a serving of vegetables.' -NotionsCapital

The best part? The American Frozen Food Institute spent over $5 MILLION convincing Congress that their annual $11 Billion school lunch profits need to be protected. And yep, Congress agreed.

So to all parents and future parents, you have Congress to thank for passing a bill that will allow kids to continue eating government-subsidized fatty foods that they will soon regard as 'vegetables' instead of attempting to make school lunches just the slightest bit healthier.

Hooray. 'MERICA!

**Also, as one reader pointed out, tomato isn't even a vegetable! It's technically a fruit!